I don't know how to express myself, at least not in a way that anyone seems to understand. I live inside my head the majority of the time and the past few years have been a relentless reminder as to why.
I know feelings are just that, my feelings, and they don't really matter to anyone but me. I'm tired of apologizing for what I thought it meant to be human. I'm tired of running away from the encroaching darkness that has been following me throughout my life. I'm tired of fighting.
I don't want to try and explain anything anymore.
I've explained myself into nothingness.
There's no comfort anywhere, and I can't pretend anymore, there are no "smiles" left.
I'm stuck and I never imagined that the vast dark void that I've fallen into could feel so confining, so suffocating, that I can't breathe.