Sunday, February 28, 2016

I'm stuck.

I don't know how to express myself, at least not in a way that anyone seems to understand.  I live inside my head the majority of the time and the past few years have been a relentless reminder as to why. 

I know feelings are just that, my feelings, and they don't really matter to anyone but me.  I'm tired of apologizing for what I thought it meant to be human.  I'm tired of running away from the encroaching darkness that has been following me throughout my life.  I'm tired of fighting.

I don't want to try and explain anything anymore. 
I've explained myself into nothingness.
There's no comfort anywhere, and I can't pretend anymore, there are no "smiles" left.

I'm stuck and I never imagined that the vast dark void that I've fallen into could feel so confining, so suffocating, that I can't breathe.

I'm stuck.

7 comments:

Jessica Rainier-Pope said...

Firstly I read your posts and I'm sorry you seem to be in such a dark place... If it means anything, though, your writing is truly captivating! Hope you are feeling better!

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Paul Heller said...

If the lights suddenly came on, you might be surprised to see how many people are there, walking with you, also in darkness. Keep up the good writing.

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