Texting as I drove to work:
Psycho: "Tequila...Tekillya...Good morning Sunshine!"
Queen: "LOL. Have I ever told you that I don't like my boss?"
Psycho: "Let's see...Umm...not today, no."
Queen: "ARRRGH. Today I wish I was Lancelot and could just hike my leg on his door..."
Psycho: "Hey, if you go temporarily insane and that actually happens, please have enough sense to at least video that shit!"
Psycho: "Is it martini time yet?"
Queen: "It was two hours ago. Now it's whiskey and ugly drink time."
Psycho: "NO wonder I just woke up like an hour ago. I must have gotten trashed at the early morning cocktail hour..."
Queen: "See what happens when you drink in your sleep?"
Psycho: "Damn that Ambien sleepwalking. The other day, I woke up with my face in a bowl of popcorn..."
Queen: "Dude. Be careful or you will end up on Dateline..."
Psycho: "I guess that's slightly better than Springer"
Queen: "Depends on the crowd you run in... Springer can elevate your white trash status sometimes..."
Psycho: "Yeah, but I'm waiting for my mail order midget to arrive. I don't think I'm quite Springer material until that happens."
Queen: "That kicks ass! For sure when it arrives we should have a party. I will bring the EZCheeze and Ritz crackers..."
Psycho: "Sweet! I'll make some trashcan punch and buy enough pork rinds and twinkies for the whole neighborhood!"
Queen: "What are you gonna name him?"
"My brother wants an Alpaca. I think he's weird."
Psycho: "Harley. Where the hell is he gonna keep an Alpaca? My boss said I can keep my pygmy goats on her land."
Queen: "Where the hell are you keeping a midget?"
Psycho: "Lets just saywhen I start wearing skirts all the time, you will know that he has arrived..."